Shattered Dreams
by Hawki
Summary: Becoming a power ranger requires sacrifice, and the Samurai Rangers were no exception. Yet with sacrifice comes regret of what could have been, of a former life. Listed before you are but some of those desires.
1. Fire

_A/N_

_This is a challenge based story, based around 'x things a character misses.' In this case, "x" being "six" and the characters being the five original Samurai Rangers. First up, Jayden-relatively easy to do in this experience, mainly by virtue of getting more character development than most of the other rangers. Still, being a red ranger, I guess that's the rule rather than the exception in most cases._

* * *

**Power Rangers: Shattered Dreams**

**Chapter 1: Fire**

**01**

Jayden misses his father.

He supposes it's natural for any child, or even adult to feel this way if it comes to it. Certainly he feels no shame in such an emotion, and Ji has never tried to make such an emotion surface. The reasons for the empty place in his heart however, are far more than simple longing for the presence of a father figure. It's rather what his father represented. Determination. Will. The comfort of his presence. Even knowing that he was fated to take his place, it seemed a moot point when his father was around. But now, all he has to remember him are his words...

"Protect the world from evil. Stand by your allies. And never run from a battle."

Jayden remembers those words, but misses the man who imparted them to him.

And the second part of that creed, as he discovers later, is a whole can of worms in itself...

**02**

Jayden misses Antonio.

Bad enough that it's unlikely that he'll ever see him again. It's also that he'll never experience the same feeling he had while playing with him. The sense of being a child. The ability to enjoy life to its fullest. The sense of pure enjoyment where the nighlocks weren't at the back of his mind, but rather removed from his mind altogether. Antonio made it all possible. And he misses his oldest friend, and what he brought to him in turn.

He wishes he could see him again.

But like the wish that the nighlocks would give up their attempts to flood the Earth, he knows that it will never be granted.

**03**

Jayden misses being alone.

Granted, privacy isn't an impossibility at the samurai lodge, and provided he has a means of communication, he can wander the city all he wants. But none of this changes the fact that he has a team. That by virtue of simply being the red ranger, he's the leader of that team. And until the nighloks are defeated, that won't change.

It's not so much that he's ungrateful for their presence, both in general company and on the field of battle. Maybe there's a small part of him that seeks glory for himself, to be the single individual responsible for beating back evil, why he resisted on summoning them at first. But he knows the truth as much as Ji does-he's scared to lead. Not out of raw fear, and certainly not in regards to himself, but in regards to others. If they should fall...if he should be responsible...he doesn't know how he could take that. "Rangers together, samurai forever," as their war cry goes...but what if that isn't destined to be the case?

Battling moogers? Fine. Duking it out in zords? Fine. Watching your friends fall?

...Jayden misses not having to worry about that.

**04**

Jayden misses not having the world on his shoulders.

Granted, perhaps the world's always been there in some form or another. He knew that he would have to continue on from his father and from those before him, to honour the lineage of the Shiba Family. But unlike the Atlas of myth, he could always find time to take the world off his shoulders for brief periods, and to not have to rely on Heracles for it. Other Ranger groups to follow on the news, Ji's words of wisdom...he could always find a way to avoid his fate at times. The fate of being the only ranger capable of sealing Master Xandred in the Netherworld, as temporary as that might be.

But now it's come to it. His secret's out...the same secret that Negatron was able to cause him mental and physical anguish from. A secret that his team now know, thanks to Xandred's latest attack. Now the world's on his shoulders, and he has no way to get it off. Just like the Atlas of myth...

...but he's no god. He's a man.

And he doesn't know if he can succeed.

**05**

Jayden misses not having secrets.

Maybe that's not entirely accurate. Everyone has secrets, it's just that the impact of their release varies...if they're released at all. And one has to consider that secrets are only secrets when there's those close to you to keep secrets from in the first place. So what he knows about his fate, about the sealing power that could seal Xandred permanently...it only became a secret when he became part of a team. Just another bitter pill to swallow in addition to the medicine required to save Earth.

Yet sometimes, it feels like the medicine isn't working. Negatron got past his defences, and so did Deker. As he pointed out, they're both warped. And while he isn't compelled to seek battle for the sake of it, he's still obliged to keep that which makes him warped in the first place.

Jayden misses not having secrets...

...but he doesn't know if revealing them will help matters.

**06**

Jayden misses smiling.

Alright, maybe that's not entirely accurate. It's not so much smiling in itself he misses per se, it's more that he lacks the _reasons _to smile. He's without his father. He's without his best friend. He's without privacy on one hand, caught up in secrets on the other hand, and if he suddenly grew a third arm, the burden of protecting Earth from the nighlocks would sure as Hell fit in the palm attached to that arm. Yet he only has two hands, and both of them are clutched on the shaft of his sword half the time.

Smiles can't stop the nighlocks.

If they could, he might have reason to show them.


	2. Water

.

**Power Rangers: Shattered Dreams**

**Chapter 2: Water**

**01**

Kevin misses swimming.

It isn't something that he has absolutely no time for whatsoever. Mentor Ji is not some workaholic tyrant after all, and the nighlok assaults aren't so constant that he can't find at least some time of his own. But it just isn't the same...swimming in a public pool, making way for those slower than he is. He's like a shark swimming among fish, only intent on protecting rather than consuming them. And there's always the knowledge that he could be called back to base at any time, that he could always become a fish out of water in that frustrating time between exiting the pool and getting dry.

And there's his own commitment that's killing him...he's abandoned one commitment to follow another.

And every time he tries to savour what he once had in his old dream of being an Olympic swimmer, he feels guilty for it.

**02**

Kevin misses being the best.

There, he's admitted it, as embarrassing/shameful as such a fact is. He misses being the best swimmer in the pool. He misses being a martial artist that everyone around him used to look up to. He misses being in circumstances where his skills were regarded as actual skills rather than necessities.

It's really a good thing that this isn't the case anymore he supposes. He's part of a team where fighting is, for better or worse, the only course of action open to them. He's part of a team where everyone is striving to improve their skills, to get to the level that the red ranger...not blue...represents. He offers his help, but is always turned down, as it should be in the realm of self fulfilment. Yet deep down, he's still discontent.

He's no longer the best. The one that everyone looks up to.

And as a member of the Samurai Rangers, he never will be.

**03**

Kevin misses his father.

As much as he misses being the best, he also misses the means by which he could be measured as such. His dad didn't sugar-coat the truth as parents do to their children-if he needed to work harder, he knew it. If he was failing at something, he was told. When he overcame obstacles, he was given the right amount of praise, and nothing more. The Samurai Rangers aren't without honesty, but friends will inevitably bend the truth to preserve that friendship-hence why none of them will say outright that he's boring, instead maintaining that he's disciplined. The same type of discipline that got him through his early life as a swimmer...and at the hand of his father, led him to take his place as a samurai.

Kevin misses his father...the only one he could honestly measure himself against.

**04**

Kevin misses proper food.

Yes, _proper _food, thank you very much. As in, food that isn't basic fuel to keep him going or worse, Mia's cooking. Cooking that he and the rest of the team are far too polite to give an honest opinion on. They all have it tough (even Mike, despite not knowing the difference between carbohydrates and lipids apparently), but he feels he has it harder than the rest of them. After all, he's spent most of his teenage life swimming for a place in the Olympics, a process that's psychological as well as physical. A process that involves a careful balance of foodstuffs, whether it be short burning energy or protein. Here however, food takes a backseat to samurai discipline and whatnot. Effective in its own right, but if this battle with the nighloks ever ends, Kevin knows he'll have lots of work to do in getting his old balance correct.

For now though...he needs to focus on involving Mia's 'cooking.'

**05**

Kevin misses regularity in his life.

True, this was offset at Christmas somewhat by the new watch he got, finally eliminating that nasty three second lag. True, there's regularity in a superficial sense-sleep, train, fight, train some more...but there's no timetable. No warning. No advance notices from Master Xandred saying that "I attend to attack at 3:30pm, with breaks to ensure that the episode of our conflict lasts half an hour. Not that he'd expect the nighlok to, but still...

There's no order, only chaos. No timetable, just torn up pieces of paper to symbolize his past attempts at making timetables. No-one who truly understands how much the blue ranger really depends on order in his life...ironic considering how rigorous and disciplined the samurai lifestyle is meant to be. For Kevin, it's not disciplined and rigorous enough.

And while order may be restored once the forces of the Netherworld are defeated...that day seems a long time coming.

**06**

Kevin misses having a normal life...sometimes.

"What about you? I heard that you left your dreams of swimming in the Olympics to be here Kevin. Don't you miss it?"

"No. When a samurai decides to serve, he's committed. Forever."

And he believes it, even if he has to life about not missing swimming. He believes it, even as Mike eats snacks right in front of him. He believes it as the months drag on. He believes it that so much that he starts lying to himself...and knows it.

He misses the days where he didn't have to be so dishonest.

And deep down, despite all his assertions to the contrary, Kevin misses a lot more.

* * *

_A/N_

_So, chapter 2. Of the five rangers in these shorts, I'd say Kevin was perhaps on the same level of difficulty as Emily (more on her in the future). There's key aspects to hone in on in both characters, in the blue ranger's case, swimming. The problem is, outside that, there isn't so much, and while I'd say both Kevin and Jayden have some development, it's Jayden that gets far more IMO._

_Anyway, character analysis aside, Merry Christmas and a happy new year._


	3. Sky

.

**Power Rangers: Shattered Dreams**

**Chapter 3: Sky**

**01**

Mia misses playing with children.

Or "looking after," or "supervising," or whatever term those at the orphanage care to use. She enjoyed it all the same. She knows that many of the children looked up to her as if she were a big sister, a trait that many have said comes naturally to her. Heck, even with Emily, it's a position she seems to have filled. And on some level, it's nice to be in the company of those closer to her age.

Yet even so, she misses the children, and wonders how they're doing. She knows that she's protecting them in the long run, even if they don't know it. And being the pink ranger, fighting moogers in the open...well, not that many boys come flocking to a ranger wearing _pink _(boys...what do they know?), but even so, children still appreciate what she does. But she can't know them. She can't help them directly, and while Ryan was the exception, he was the exception that proved the rule.

Mia hopes the children are doing okay.

She misses them.

**02**

Mia misses cooking.

No, not the cooking she does at the lodge, but _real _cooking. The type of cooking where every possible ingredient is at her fingertips. The type of cooking where her imagination can run wild, where there isn't any limitation she has to contend with. The type of cooking that circumstances no longer allow her to carry out.

Sure, the team enjoy what she serves for them-she's even heard comments that they've started losing weight thanks to her. But more often than not, there's some issue they have to deal with that prevents them from finishing or at times, even starting the meal. Usually a nighlok attack or the need for training, and indeed, they're issues Mia shares herself. But even so, to see all that food go to waste...it isn't a pleasant sight.

Basically, Mia misses cooking in an environment where those eating her food have the time to fully appreciate them.

**03**

Mia misses shopping.

It's not something that she's had to give up entirely in itself of course. The lodge's garden does a good job in providing for them, but someone has to get the kind of stuff needed to keep them going, not to mention ingredients for the cooking she provides for the team when some variety is needed. But shopping...as in, _real _shopping, is a luxury she can't afford. Both in terms of time and money.

The others don't understand. Mike does sort of, but his 'boy shopping' has only consisted into going into Gamespot, getting what he wants and getting home as quickly as possible to play it. Emily can sympathize with her to an extent as well, but she's lived on a farm all her life, where convenience stores are about the only type of shopping that's going to be carried out. She doesn't know what it's like to go shopping for the sake of it, to try on new shoes, dresses, makeup...spending hours, days or even weeks deciding what's the better bargain. It's a challenge she used to enjoy, getting the best deal in terms of price and quality, allowing her to savour the bargain all the more.

Nowadays though, she only has a few pairs of sneakers and dresses are out of the question.

And she misses what she once had.

**04**

Mia misses soaps.

No, not the hygiene products that Mike doesn't seem to even know exists half the time. _Soaps_. As in, soap operas. As in, TV shows that she used to watch. As in, televised media that the lodge can't show for lack of having a TV.

It's an indulgence, she knows that. Given what some of the other rangers have sacrificed, a lack of access to (let's be honest here) trashy, open-ended narratives isn't exactly a weeping point. Yet even so, she misses them. Misses talking to her friends about them. Misses _not _being surrounded by boys who'd criticize and/or taunt her Achilles heel.

And maybe it's not so bad. She's always hoped that one day she'd find her Prince Charming and with soap operas...well, even if a pairing occurs, chances are it'll fall apart by the next season.

Yet still, she misses them.

**05**

Mia misses romance novels. Even more than soaps.

Is there a difference, one might ask? As far as the pink ranger is concerned, the answer is yes. If anything, she misses them even more than TV shows. At least with them, there was never a true ending, no goal to aspire to. Novels however, have a set beginning, ending, and everything in-between. Kind of like the rangers' battle against the nighloks. A beginning centuries past and if Jayden is able to make the seal on the monsters permanent, an ending. And leading up to that point, many trials and tribulations to make up the bulk of the story.

Yet it's not a story she's reading or writing, and if it was, there's still no romance to be found...for her at least. She misses reading love stories. She misses being around books that aren't universally non-fiction. She misses reading about other people's dreams coming true and hoping that they may come true for her as well.

But she can't. Not since the boys discovered her reading _Twilight _in her room. Not wanting to be taunted for weeks on end...again...she's had to make yet another sacrifice as a samurai. To cast dreams to the wayside.

And yet she misses stories where dreams can come true.

**06**

Mia misses Scott.

It's not every day that one encounters a red ranger from a parallel reality. No more common than coming across robots called Grinders and having that red ranger appear out of nowhere to save you...and the rest of your team admittedly, but even so...appearing like that, like a knight in shining armour. If only he could have been the silver ranger of his universe...

True, she never saw his face. True, it was well established that he'd have to return to his own dimension, no matter how grim it was. True, but...well, insert fact here. When faced with her knight in shining armour, the truth didn't really seem to matter that much.

Mia misses him.

* * *

_A/N_

_Of the five Samurai Rangers this story depicts, Mia was probably the hardest to cover in a sense. Like Kevin, there's distinct aspects to her personality (cooking, and the idea of 'Prince Charming'). However, as far as my perception goes (which admittedly is limited to streaming off YouTube if I'm lucky) is that she's probably undergone the least ammount of development of the rangers. This isn't bad in itself, but while I'm not really a feminist (as in, you won't see me protesting in the street), a character's greatest dream being to meet your one true love...well, it doesn't really endear me to said character._

_Anyway, that's my 2 cents. Managed to come up with this anyway._


	4. Forest

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**Power Rangers: Shattered Dreams**

**Chapter 4: Forest**

**01**

Mike misses pizza.

No, Mentor Ji, not those cop-outs from Dominos that are meant to be below such and such calories as endorsed by _The Biggest Loser_. Not some vegetarian pizza with rabbit food. Real, honest to God, _pizza_. The type of pizza that's dripping with every kind of farm animal product (and by-product...or however you categorize cheese) that you can eat until you feel bloated, content in the knowledge that you've put on a few pounds.

But he can't have it...or rather, he'll get another "lack of discipline" lecture if he does. Never mind that he's a human being and needs carbohydrates as much as protein. Never mind that the energy's going to be used in battle before it goes into long-term storage. No...it's just rabbit food for him. Which, considering that his element is forest, makes his diet seem a bit hypocritical. Or not, since Ji won't accept that argument. Maybe it's bribery to get the nighloks defeated quicker.

As soon as they are, he's headed for Pizza Hut.

**02**

Mike misses normal mobile phones.

Alright, maybe "miss" isn't entirely the right word. He wasn't that much of a slave to his old mobile and the samurizer has the bonus of not sending messages composed of nothing but "lol" and "OMG!" But then again, it doesn't help that the samurizer not only looks like a phone with all its usual options (well...usual before the iPhone came out at least...clearly samurais are technology dinosaurs), but can act like a phone as well. So all's rosy, right? Well, not so much when every time you get a call from it, you know that it's going to be bad news. And that pretty much the only things you're going to say into it yourself are "go go samurai!"

Which admittedly leads to a cool morphing sequence. And he's downloaded some catchy music to go with it.

But still...he misses mobile phones.

**03**

Mike misses videogames.

Alright, maybe he hasn't got it that hard. He still has his PSP...and DS...and...well, quite a few other handhelds at his old home, but that isn't too much of a problem. What _is _a problem however is his inability to play them. So much time is spent training that he barely has any time for relaxation, and if he does get that time, he has to ensure that none of the others are aware of it. Ji and Kevin especially, who seem to be samurai Gestapos at times. And even barring that...it just isn't the same. And it isn't just playing them...it's discussing them as well. In his youth, he got to fight in the Console Wars between Sega and Nintendo but now, caught up in the war against the nighloks, he can't return to his old console service. The battlelines have been drawn between the PS3 and Xbox 360 and like the Wii, he's been compelled to sit on the sidelines.

**04**

Mike misses the arcade.

One might think that this falls under the videogames category, by virtue of there being...well, games. One might think that this falls under the food category, by virtue of getting your strength back after exerting your mental energy on a game of _Street Fighter_. But no...it's different, as far as Mike is concerned. It's...the raw feeling that comes from being there. Of not only being the best gamer around, but with real people beside you that can see it rather than the faceless noobs one plays over your Internet connection. Of being in a place where you can either play face to face against someone your own skill level, or teach the ancient art of button mashing to newbies...as opposed to noobies who can't even accept the fact that camping is a legitimate strategy.

The arcade is a place that Mike understands.

And when he hangs out with his friends there, he feels that he's understood as well.

**05**

Mike misses sleeping properly. Or rather, waking up.

It's not so much that sleep is the issue. After hours on end of training, it comes as a great relief to hit the sack. It's the getting up part that aggravates him-up at the crack of dawn, quick breakest, straight to training...he never had to do this in his old life. Sure, he had to get up for school and all, but that didn't stop him from staying up until 2am playing _World of Warcraft _and still getting in on time. Nowadays, it's not too rare for him to still be training by that point...and still get up five hours later.

It's not a case of beauty sleep. But he still misses it.

**06**

Mike misses watching cop shows.

_Law and Order _to _Hawaii Five-O_, _The Bill _to _Foyle's War_...he's watched them all. Granted, he's more of an interactive entertainment guy and TV isn't usually his thing, but police stuff is another matter. Maybe it's because it's like a game in itself. Pit your wits against the criminal, and if you play it right, you'll come up on top. Which, they admittedly almost always will, and sometimes he spoilt it for him via the Internet, but he enjoyed the results just the same.

That was then though, and this is now. The lodge is without a TV, and even if it had one, he wouldn't have enough time to watch what he wanted, when he wanted. And even then he'd have to compete with the tastes of another five people...or three, somehow he can't see Jayden or Ji sitting down and watching anything.

But without a TV to watch the shows he once enjoyed, he can't put that theory to the test.

* * *

_A/N_

_Sorry for missing last week's update. Work and the flu conspired against me...which is odd, since the flu got me a day off work as well, but...bah! Conspiracy!_

_Anyway, it probably shouldn't come as a surprise that Mike's chapter was the easiest to write. His character is effectively based on how he's perhaps the least eager to convert to a samurai lifestyle, or at least was prior to _Forest for the Trees_. Personally, I think he's had some of the most character development of the rangers apart from Jayden, and to the show's credit, it's not a case of abandoning one realm of interest for another, but a blending of the two. And admittedly, while I haven't done that much gaming since my Xbox 360 succumbed to the red ring of death, I've certainly remained in that realm._

_Also, in the realm of pairings...well, I'll probably leave the answer for next chapter. Hopefully the flu won't try another conspiracy._


	5. Earth

.

**Power Rangers: Shattered Dreams**

**Chapter 5: Earth**

**01**

Emily misses being back on the farm.

There's no one specific element she can single out, and indeed, the city has a beauty and complexity of its own. But still...she misses it. Time moved slower during the day. At night, you could see all the stars. On the farm, you interacted with animals...not beings that, as the saying goes, "act like animals." Back home, the only blades she used were weeding tools, the only lives taken being plants that had grown out of proportion. An restoration of equilibrium if you will, not a battle against creatures that actively seek to unbalance it at best, or replace it with their own perverted sense of order at worst.

So whether it be due to fauna or flora, Emily misses being a country girl.

And as the fight against the nighloks drags on, she begins to wonder if she'll ever be able to be one again.

**02**

Emily misses playing the flute.

It's not something that she lacks the privacy or time for to do as a samurai. Far from it. It's just that things are...different, now. Her sister is absent for starters, and the city, for all its wonders, doesn't provide her the same inspiration that the countryside did. Playing written music stemming from Bach to Wuorinen is all well and good, but it is still the works of those come before, and not her own. Admittedly they were living in worlds free of the kind of evil that's been reguarly faced over the last decade and a half, but still...

And maybe it's what that fight against evil entails that puts her off. The Power Rangers Samurai have many weapons, ranging from the simple katana to the mighty zords. But the activation of those powers are based on symbols...art...writing...art itself has become a weapon in the fight. Forms of art in the same way that music is.

So that's why she misses playing the flute the way she once did.

She doesn't know when music itself will become a casualty.

**03**

Emily misses her family.

It's not something she brings up-indeed, she doesn't bring any of her worries up, but it's this aspect that she pays particular attention to. All of the Samurai Rangers have had to sever ties with their families for their safety, and from what she can tell, it's effectively been the same with every generation of power rangers before them. So when any of them bring it up, of how much she must miss them, she assures her friends that she's fine...an outright lie. No other way about it. She misses the farm of course, but it was her family that made it what it was. Especially her sister...the one who she could always turn to for help, the one who would always stand up for her, the one who was meant to be the yellow ranger instead of her...she wonders what she would say if she could see her little sister now. Has she done as good a job as she would have done? Or, as Emily suspects, has she let her down?

She doesn't know.

And missing her family as she does, as the fight against the nighloks drags on, part of her believes that she never will.

**04**

Emily misses crying.

It seems a strange thing to miss, and she's well aware of it. However, she knows it to be true-not so much the reasons behind crying (which are always based on grief) but of the act itself-to get all the grief and frustration out in the open. To remove it from herself and allow her to recover faster. Even after making the promise to her sister and remain strong...it's a promise that she's often tempted to break.

But there's extra incentive not to cry now. Any tear that's shed will only add to the Sanzu River, bring the nighloks closer and close to her world. As long as they retain the ability to invade Earth, she knows that she mustn't cry at all, lest their threat be intensified.

Which is a shame. Because it's the conflict itself that makes her want to cry more than anything.

**05**

Emily misses Mike.

It's not an absence that manifests itself like the others plaguing her...or plagued, all things considered, but that's another story. Rather, it's a feeling of absence that comes and goes intermittently, not recognisable by itself. It's only when the sum total of the parts is analysed that she begins to recognise her feelings. Of him _not _being around her, of her _not _being in his presence, of the...yearnings? that hit her every so often.

It seems that she can't feel like her normal self when he isn't around.

**06**

Sometimes, Emily misses being a kid.

It's a strange assertion in a sense. She meant every word when she told her fellow rangers about how much she hated school. She was speaking the truth when she mentioned her clumsiness and shyness, of the numerous conditions that ended with "phobia." These are traits that no longer apply and she's grateful for that, but still...

One thing she learnt at school in English studies was that innocence is something that's lost while growing up...learnt while studying _To Kill a Mockingbird _if she remembers correctly. The nighloks are after the proverbial mockingbirds and she's been forced to wield the proverbial rifle to defend them. To shoot the moogers...the blue jays. Innocence lost.

She misses it.

* * *

_A/N_

_So, that's Emily done. This was quite an easy chapter to write for the most part, but I admittedly had to stretch things out a bit, such as with Mike. And yes, concerning pairings, I usually get behind the 'canon' pairings of medias, even if I don't like them that much. Still, I think they make a good couple. It underwent reasonable development, and I think Emily has undergone development to an extent. Not so much a change of character, but rather an 'understanding' of it, such as in _Sticks and Stones_. _

_I guess something else I have to address is the absence of a chapter for Antonio. I actually did write some material for him, but I found that I _really _had to stretch things to get enough for a chapter, to the extent it became redundant. It didn't help that I had less material to work with than the other rangers, by virtue of his later appearence in the season. Also, there's something else to consider-the five original rangers never really had a choice. They were always going to be the next Samurai Rangers, regardless of what their previous lives entailed (except Emily, but it basically boiled down to the same issue). Antonio's involvement however was entirely voluntary, and in a sense, giving him the treatment of his story could be contrary to his character._

_So yeah. In the end, I decided to cut him out. I _could _include the material in another story, along with doing something for characters such as Ji and the rumoured second red ranger, but at this point in time, there's no plans to. And indeed, there's no other _Power Rangers _stories on my 'to write' list at this point in time. Still, thanks for all the feedback._


End file.
